An Odd Day

I’m tired. I feel like a toddler must feel moments before that tantrum hits and some innocent stranger is standing next to me on aisle 13 about to experience a very bad moment.

My body may soon be aching. I won’t be sure until tomorrow. Each Tuesday and Thursday you and I and three other people work three hours – in the mornings – with children 3 months to 17 months while their mothers attend a mommy’s meeting. Our room usually has about 15 little ones. You and I also watch several other little ones during the week – helping their moms get back into working full time. We are retired and feel drawn – here in Silicon Valley – to help little families on their journey. So we are fairly busy every week day morning and two afternoons…

This morning – during the 15 kid session – I stumbled upon a little one and fell. Not on her…I made sure not to fall on her. I simply felt my body graze her’s and tried to move away and fell. Flat on my butt. Right beside her – who stood aghast at the happening and ran to sit in my lap and hold my hand. Sigh. So so sweet. Her little hand on my cheek. So I sat there, on the floor, with her for a few moments. Giving us both a chance to catch our breaths and smile. Once we had both smiled and giggled – and she had drooled – we stood up and she began crying 😦

It seemed instinctual to me that she would cry. It’s alarming to see a favorite person fall and to rush into their laps and offer comfort and then just cry when it’s all over. Isn’t that what adults to in a crisis? We get thru the crisis and them come apart. So I held her and rocked her and we sang made up love songs to her passifier…until she was OK. Now and then she’d run up to me – all morning – to be picked up and hugged. I felt so badly to have alarmed her. I wish there had been a way I could have explained to her about accidents and what that word meant. Part of my deepest self – at her reaction and caring of me – told me that she realized I’d fallen just as she often falls but…you know – kids are just little hills falling so it must really be scary to see an adult fall from so high up! I told her mom what happened – cuz I thought she should know, right? _ and she informed me that she trips on her child, too!

I don’t have children so this amazed me. Is this why I see young adults walking around with arm or leg casts? Because they tripped on their kids? Eeep! I felt badly, of course, that’s how I’m made…that I created sadness for this lovely lil one. And…I hope, after my hot bath soak and massage, I really am OK. This makes me glad that I’ve been so active all my life and remain active even in retirement. I think it does the body and mind good.

I’ll probably come back to check my reader after my soak. Or I may write a poem. Or not do either 😛

Ellespeth

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