A Poet’s Working Dream

woman

I’ve Been Editing

This seems like something interesting to share.  Maybe …

Thoughts on last evening’s posy blog entry http://wp.me/p37v4b-2ur    (now fixed)I’m repeating words too many times:

Late this afternoon/we walked to the market/A grey and brooding cloud covered sky/had been wind swept into a brilliant blue/and golden sun afternoon/And children’s kites looped and played/streaming their tails this way and that/until one floated down/its tail brushing softly against your cheek.

When I’m writing a poem, I don’t like to use the same word too many times.  If I’m going to spend time making a poem out of a blob of words, I want every word to count and flow into the next word like a river.

When I woke up this morning, I was very dissatisfied with A Prosey Lovey Posey…not only was the word and in there too many times, but the word posy was misspelled Posey.  Out of 43 words, the word and was used 5 times.  There seemed to be no way of fixing it.  I had coffee and a breakfast of yogurt and granola something.  I took out all the ands and switched up grey and brooding.  I like how it moves now and how the ends of the lines – as they are laid on the paper – sort of fall into the next lines.  There’s still an and in there.

So here’s where the posy is now.  I’ve fixed it in the original post too:

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A Prosey Lovey Posy

Late this afternoon/we walked to the market/A brooding grey cloud covered sky/had been wind-swept into a brilliant blue/golden sun day/Children’s kites looped and played/streaming this way then that/until one floated down/its tail brushing softly against your cheek.

Ellespeth

4 thoughts on “A Poet’s Working Dream

  1. I think the edit was great! I wish I was a better editor of my poetry. I’m sooo bad about editing. I write it once and then I’m done. It drives my dad, who is a superb editor, nuts 🙂 I admire people who can edit!!

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    • Thanks for passing by my blog, Kirsten, and for your comment. Imagine how horrible it must be to edit a novel! I shudder to think…
      I have the poetry collection you and Pamela have just published – Voices of Nature. Looking forward to reading it! What an accomplishment!
      Ellespeth

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      • I don’t even want to think about the novel!! That’s probably why I only seem to get to chapter 7 in novels I’m writing! Lol thank you for getting our book. I hope you enjoy it. We had so much fun collaborating 🙂

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