Just A Rant and A Poem

scrapbook-1373066_640I’m down. Really, really down and whiney feeling. I’m thinking of starting a new blog. I have another blog…the blog where I’m supposed to be putting my fiction extracted from here. I’m trying to decide why I ever considered doing that? Maybe I was in an unusually energetic and positive mood. I don’t keep the other blog up. Instead I mash my whole life together here. Maybe that’s best – maybe not because…

Besides having macular degeneration – which I rarely discuss here – yesterday I was diagnosed with osteoporosis. If I hadn’t broken my wrist/arm part and had a bone density test, I wouldn’t even know. It’s most severe in my lumbar spine…that part of me that has been injured and hurt so many times in my life…my test results had me in tears.

I read internet articles last evening. I blamed myself, really, for having osteoporosis. I smoked half a pack of cigs for years. Lights, of course. Hahaha! Quit those at 60. I drink champagne, though…and when I read about osteoporosis, naturally – for my Catholic Guilt-ridden self -I gave this to myself and, even if I didn’t give it to myself, I deserve it for some reason.

So I’m really down about this…I probably will have to decide about meds for this. I may have to take the drugs I’ve read about that have rare effects. And then I’ll have to say to my primary care doctor, sweet young thing is she, too:

Anger & Blue Moons

Why didn’t you ask me
anything
about who I am
at all?

Why have you smiled
every year
and patted us both on the back?

Why have you told me
how healthy I am
when now
today
I am not?

I shall trust you
less now
and both of us
will be better for it.

Ellespeth

photo via pixabay

11 thoughts on “Just A Rant and A Poem

  1. I’m so sorry, Ellespeth . We often hear things we should not do because it will affect our life, but when we are young, it just doesn’t feel real…after all we have a whole lifetime ahead of us, but age comes upon us ..what seems like ..very quickly and there is no turning back time. Don’t blame yourself for everything…things happen in life and we can not always figure out why. Even a person that seemingly does all the right things can have life changing problems. There isn’t always a answer for everything. I can only advise to just take it a day at a time. Try to stay positive and do things that make you happy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jessie – your kind words of support and encouragement mean so much to me. I am feeling better today. And, like you say, I’ll take this a day at a time. I’ll have some sort of vitamin D blood work tomorrow. Then, I suppose, I can decide where to go from here. It’s depressing, though…I don’t know how to weave this into my blog, but I think I will have to do so – somehow. Thank you for your caring and your support.
      Ellespeth

      Like

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