Those Days I Go Crazy

Those Days I Go Crazy    (maybe a poem title, too)

Tomorrow is my self-proclaimed donut Monday! Have I ever said how much I love donuts? And that I have limited myself to one a month for over 30 years? Or that I tired of cronuts after having two? Or, just tonight…

Me: Oh! Tomorrow is donut day   (add a clap here)

You: What kind do you want?

Me: I’m not sure. I’ve read there is a new donut craze nowadays.   Do they have ‘new item’ signs at the donut store?

You: No

Me: Hmmm…ya never know, it could be healthier.

You: The only way it could be less healthy  is if they added arsenic.

Me: Hmmm…so what kind are you getting?

You: I like the fried apple fritters.

Me: Hmmm… (silent giggle)

Ellespeth  

Just A Rant and A Poem

scrapbook-1373066_640I’m down. Really, really down and whiney feeling. I’m thinking of starting a new blog. I have another blog…the blog where I’m supposed to be putting my fiction extracted from here. I’m trying to decide why I ever considered doing that? Maybe I was in an unusually energetic and positive mood. I don’t keep the other blog up. Instead I mash my whole life together here. Maybe that’s best – maybe not because…

Besides having macular degeneration – which I rarely discuss here – yesterday I was diagnosed with osteoporosis. If I hadn’t broken my wrist/arm part and had a bone density test, I wouldn’t even know. It’s most severe in my lumbar spine…that part of me that has been injured and hurt so many times in my life…my test results had me in tears.

I read internet articles last evening. I blamed myself, really, for having osteoporosis. I smoked half a pack of cigs for years. Lights, of course. Hahaha! Quit those at 60. I drink champagne, though…and when I read about osteoporosis, naturally – for my Catholic Guilt-ridden self -I gave this to myself and, even if I didn’t give it to myself, I deserve it for some reason.

So I’m really down about this…I probably will have to decide about meds for this. I may have to take the drugs I’ve read about that have rare effects. And then I’ll have to say to my primary care doctor, sweet young thing is she, too:

Anger & Blue Moons

Why didn’t you ask me
anything
about who I am
at all?

Why have you smiled
every year
and patted us both on the back?

Why have you told me
how healthy I am
when now
today
I am not?

I shall trust you
less now
and both of us
will be better for it.

Ellespeth

photo via pixabay

That Slow Read – Journal Entry

You went hiking today and my day didn’t turn out as laid back as I’d planned but…I’m continuing with my reading of Fingersmith.

It’s the sort of book I have to stop and think about sometimes. I’m a little slow around the edges.  And I scare very easily.  It’s more suspenseful than scary, actually, but…I don’t deal well with the unknown, either.

I say, to you, this sort of reminds me of Lady Chatterley’s Lover by DH Lawrence – very suspenseful and heart throbbing. It has more twists and dark areas to it, though.  We discuss DH Lawrence and Henry Miller.  I decide, when the right time comes, to do a flash fiction Erotica piece.  And so,  of course,  I must do it!

I remember, almost everyone I knew, in high school (1960’s), wanted to read Lady Chatterley’s Lover. I read a page or two of it.   It was boring. In my 50’s, I saw some movie of it. Now I can’t read Lady Chatterley’s Lover. I have those movie images. I like to read a book before I see a movie. I like to make my own images.

So here I go again…the plot is thickening. Oh my gosh! It’s very suspenseful.  We have both agreed to do nothing tomorrow.  I plan to read.   If I get too scared, you’ll be home 

Ellespeth

A Retro-Nerd Sorta Day

As if life wasn’t already imperfect enough for me these days, I picked up my new eyeglasses this afternoon.  I EFFIN LOOK LIKE RICK PERRY 😦

Issue:  I’m blind as a bat in one eye and thought I’d venture out alone one afternoon and pick out new eyeglass frames.  Granted, the optometrist  had me take off my old glasses to try on the new ones with just a plain glass lens and, you know, she said how great they looked on me and when I held them in my hand they looked so cool though I hadn’t a clue how they actually looked on me

Outcome:  The frames are very modern-retro nerd – – that look glasses have these days.  Like when I was in first-grade plastic look, right?  And…OMG!  I look like Rick Perry 😦 And. of course, you like them.  You’re a nerd.  I really cannot trust you in the eyeglass fashion department.

More later…

Ellespeth

My Writing Posture Is Not A Problem!

computer-313840_640I’m having a terrible muscle/everything  ache in my arm.  With some adjustments to my writing area and a warming blanket wrapped round it, it’s getting better.  Yesterday, though, I wanted to cut my arm off it hurt so bad.  Today, I’m thankful I didn’t go to such an extreme.

Luckily, I haven’t forgotten how to write longhand or use a dictionary, because I couldn’t even use my old manual typewriter (that one I bought at the used typewriter store a couple of years ago) because it’s the same arm and hand and finger movements…

It’s all ergonomically complicated and frustrating.  God should have designed arms to evolve better.

Ellespeth

image from pixabay

Just A Private Visit

Our Ever Forever Tree

I follow a blogger here, I call him doc because I don’t really know his name and it fits his blog title. Sometimes, he shows photographs of real places in his life. Sometimes he writes flash fiction. He’s over at http://dralimanonlife.com Pop on over there when you have a chance. You’ll enjoy yourself.

The other day, he shared a photograph of his Christmas tree. I think he thought it was small but important to him. (that’s my story line and no one else can have it!) His photo encouraged me to share a photograph of our Christmas tree. That’s it. Up there. All dressed up for the holidays.

I don’t share a lot of photographs about my life because, to be honest – after dating on the internet – I don’t trust it so much. But hey 😛 It’s just a Christmas tree.

You built this tree, from just pruned eucalyptus branches, over 10 years ago. The leaves were still fresh and smelled so lovely. You built it so our parakeets would have a place to fly to when we let them out of their cage. Parakeets don’t live forever, and future generations of our parakeet pets haven’t much liked the tree. The leaves have fallen off. But, to me, it is beautiful.

And so it’s become our Christmas tree. You’ve wrapped little mini white lights around its bare branches. I think it’s elegant.

Ellespeth

Baby Dolls – Diary Entry

I had a little baby doll once.  Her name was Baby Doll.  She was born about 1958.  I still believed in Santa Claus.  She was delivered on a Christmas morning with a dent in her box.  My dad told me that Rudolph had accidentally stepped on her box.  That made me feel like she was truly special 🙂  I bragged about her all up and down the block.  That Rudolph had actually stepped on my baby doll’s box.  I never once considered her damaged in any way.  She was just special.  I told her all of my secrets.   When I grew up and moved away, my mom kept her.  And my sister’s doll.  We both had the same kind.  Eventually, as adults, my sister asked for her doll and I kept asking my mother to keep her for me.  I hadn’t found the most perfect place for her.  My mother kept her in the same bassinet she’d used for all five of us kids.  A little white wicker thing that had a little white wicker rocking chair along side of it.  My  mother always dressed my dolly in clothes I’d actually worn as a baby.  Lost my dolly to Katrina.  Searched since then for another and –

Last week, I found her!  Please join me in welcoming:

ruthie5Gigi Ruth!  The lighting is horrible but she’s totally beautiful.  I’ve named her after my husband’s mother – who’d be over  100 today.

She must be the most perfect baby doll I’ve ever seen!  Sooo realistic looking.  I’m amazed.    I hope I’ll be able to take pictures in better lighting soon but….this is her perfect self!

And here too!   ruthie6How do they do that these days?  Make the dolls look so real?  Plus she feels real – soft skin, etc – and is weighted like a real baby.  I’m thinking to take her grocery shopping with me this week end.  Hahaha!

Ellespeth