The Internet & All That Jazz – April A-Z (I)

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The Internet & All That Jazz

😦  i’m sorry i can’t be here so much right now.  my broken arm is really upsetting so many levels of our life.   over supper and champagne, we recall the importance of the letter ‘I’ in our lives.  Our faces ache from smiling.

My arm doesn’t hurt.   I’ve come to record this…

We’ve been married 15 years now.  You 10 years after a 17 yr marriage and me a few years after a 25-year marriage …others we’d met and dated since we were ‘suddenly single’, but…  what drew us to each other was our refusal to give up on love.

i was almost 50.  i was living in the new orleans french quarter.  louisiana.  i’d lived there, or near there since the day i was born.  you were 60.  you lived in palo alto, ca, and grew up in los angeles, ca.

sometimes, the world is so much smaller than one could ever imagine.  sometimes the heart’s hopeful whisper aches for attention.

our introductory internet text conversation:

me:  (after discovering what was proper to ask) so what do you do?

you:  i’m a nuclear physicist.

me:  (oh brother, yeah…right)  you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to have a conversation with me.

you:  (just as though you hadn’t noticed my slight)  what do you do?

me:  (this probably won’t go over so well but here goes) i’m a poet and a  secretary.

and here we are…15 years later.  married.  who we said we were…seeking the softer ground of acceptance – just like any other married couple…i think, anywayz.

ellespeth 

image via pixabay

Ellespeth As Toddler – Prose

wpbdWell good grief.  There I am trying to be techy on WordPress…trying to find a comment I’d made a few days ago so I could see about some WordPress challenge and …  what?  I discovered blog stats.  Didn’t I discover these before – and then lose that link somehow?  Well 😛 thank gawd I’m not here for stats because my best visited day was sometime back in 2014.

When I read the particular entry – after I figured out how to do that – I looked at  you and said:  “There must be some way I’ve accomplished this writing goal by now.”  Insert a pouting face for emphasis of hard work done and a loud sigh.  Expect and receive an understanding nod of agreement and a smile and even , I think, I heard a laugh from your side of the room.

I also discovered a trophy 😛 from today, from WordPress  They are wishing me a happy third year here!  I could go on and on but…

~  I am thankful for WordPress.  I can see that I haven’t accomplished all of my writing goals, but at least I have made goals and, therefore, feel some type of obligation to meet them even when I don’t.

~  On the inside – to myself and to people who know me, I am shy.  I have a small number of friends – here on WordPress and in other areas of my life.  It’s a challenge for me to keep up with all that goes on WordPress with all the people I know here.  I’m learning how to stretch and trust more the comments I make.  That’s a huge step for me in life.  That doesn’t mean I’m not shy.  I’m in a process of some sort.  That’s a good thing.

~  Sometimes I want to runaway from WordPress or just hide away as though observing a dream.  Sometimes I post something amd drop it within 5 minutes.  Isn’t that a wonderful function?   Unlike emails, one can actually have second thoughts on WordPress.  We can actually learn something when we read back the words of our unconscious.  And, really, do I want to be that raw with my emotions here – or anywhere?  I’m glad there is that second thought option of simply deleting an entry or making it private until you think it through more.

~  I’m so aware of being thankful to the friends I’ve made here.  To the people whose lives I follow each time I visit.  And to the people who follow my life even when I’m unable to visit theirs.

So Happy Birthday to me!  I’m 3.  I’m just a toddler.  Watch out world!  I’ll just let this go raw unedited cuz I wanna 😛

BTW, what I came here to look up ended up to be A-Z April 2016.   I’ll probably enter this year..oh dear!

Ellespeth

image https://pixabay.com