Another installment of Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle. 100 words or so based on the image below. Click on the link (after this piece) and come join us!
The Things We’d Like To Text Sometimes
Her:
It’s just a little skiff
headed nowhere in particular
specifically so I guess logically
you’d be more than welcome
to set off with me
from here
– moored at Pier 39
right off the bar.
Bring rubbers
but otherwise travel lightly.
Her:
I mean
how much more
spontaneous
can someone
like me
possibly be
?
Her:
This is an open-ended
invitation. See?
No need
to RSVP.
Moored for 20 minutes
at Pier 39
right off the bar
Her:
So
don’t forget I love you
don’t forget that
don’t forget
fini
kiss, kiss.
Ellespeth
photo prompt –©Georgia Koch
Views From A Poet 
This was different, but very creative and told the story well. Poor woman. I hope there was a good reason he didn’t respond. As was mentioned, people sometimes turn their phones off. It’s impossible to get them even in an emergency. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Very nice. I love how the tone gradually shifts (if anything can be gradual in 100 words), and we feel her growing disappointment.
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Oh, what a great idea, Ellespeth. I take it he did not respond, and she seemed more and more frustrated! Texting can be unnerving when someone doesn’t respond, because you’re always wondering…hmm, did they even get the text. I wonder if that occurred to her. I like the line no need to RSVP. I get the sense she’s working through this problem of the no-show, no-texter.
P.S. I love the new look! As I just changed mine, I look at everyone’s theme lately! Ha ha.
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Very true, Amy. I’ve seen people come unglued when their text isn’t responded to pronto. I’m so glad I don’t have a cell phone. It took me years to learn NOT to click send on some of my emails and I wish I could clck delete on some I did send.
I’m glad you like the theme 🙂 I procrastinate by changing themes.
Ellespeth
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I do the same thing with the themes and then I don’t even change anything. I just procrastinate!
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I like your last reply and, yes it would be the best ending if he did show up with flowers and perhaps NOT cheap champagne. Delightful take on the prompt/
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I’m all for remaining hopeful these days. I wonder how people actually type on those tiny phone pads? I’ve thought about translating this poem into ‘text’, which would entail research since I’m not familiar. I may do that later this evening.
Ellespeth
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Great take on the picture prompt. It was sad to read her continued texts while he simply remained silent. You could sense her desperation the longer he didn’t respond.
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So much for being spontaneous, right?
Thanks for reading my work, Kirsten, and for your comment.
Ellespeth
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I always enjoy your take on the prompts, Ellespeth 🙂
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They talk about strong silent men.. sometimes I think silent men are cowards.. to me that came out loud and clear… I can understand the her in the sense that her offer is met with silence, so there should be a long pause between the stanzas… hmm
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Thanks, Bjorn. Over the past few days, I’ve tried to work with the stanza breaks without using ‘her”. I couldn’t get it to work. The her, to me, puts that pause you mentioned and builds on his silence.
Ellespeth
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Yes, that I understood..
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I wonder if she left after waiting 20 minutes, did he show up or did she go on her own? It kept me wondering.
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I hope she didn’t row off pissed – that’s for sure.
Thanks for reading and commenting on this piece, Sally.
Ellespeth
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Fab as usual 🙂
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Thanks, Helen. Good to see you back 🙂
Ellespeth
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Very unique take on the prompt! I get the impression that she’s getting more and more anxious until finally she leaves without him.
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Hopefully he turns his phone off while driving and hasn’t a clue she’s been texting. I’m not sure.
I’m glad you liked this. doc.
Ellespeth
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Yes, nice original response to the prompt. I like it!
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Thanks for reading this piece, Caerlynn. I’m happy you liked it – wherever it came from 🙂
Ellespeth
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Dear Ellespeth,
This was a unique take on the prompt. One bit of crit though, I’m not sure why you’d need “Her” before every text since there’s no “Him.” Perhaps “One” “Two” and so on? At any rate I felt her frustration as he didn’t answer.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. It would have been a perfect photograph to continue my ghost story from last week but…when I sat down, this is what came out.
That’s a good point about the “Her”…I was wondering about that, too. I’ve never texted and don’t have a cell phone so I’m not sure how all that appears when received.
Maybe he was driving and she’s just impatient 😛
Ellespeth
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Dear Ellespeth,
A creative foray out onto murky waters. i love what you did here.
Aloha,
Doug
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For sure! Glad you liked it.
Ellespeth
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I really liked this style Ellespeth and it was quite heartbreaking … the change in mood for ‘hey I’ve had a great idea’ to ‘guess you didn’t love me anyway’. Well done.
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I’m hoping he didn’t answer because he was driving and shows up with lovely flowers and good cheap champagne.
I’m glad you liked this – I don’t have a cell phone and have never texted. I’d be at a loss.
Ellespeth
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